I sit at the desk now, remember 2008.. Remembering all I lost, all I've gained. Tears I've cried, blood I've lost. Pain I'd felt. Heart break after heart break. I wonder why now, why do we press on. You know it's been like this for a while, the only one that matters anymore in these Journal entries are the those of the past. I had an amazing friend named Sunny, she ruled at art and everything else. I had a kind friend, she was always there when I needed her. Now I weep and cannot help but cry at the loss of such great friends. I blame myself for this, yet is it my fault or times fault? Am I to blame, or have I simply become just a jerk who can't remember his friends anymore. Right now I feel so empty and dead inside, it makes me sick to my stomach. I've done so many things here, I am wondering has my time to leave come. I cannot think of why I stay here alone anymore. I often pushed myself here to forget, yet memories have returned. I cry once more, yes cry once more. It's like my heart breaks over the loss of the Amazing Sunny and other friend. Both were amazing and unforgettable, I fell for Sunny, she was twenty Six where as I was young. I was already warned by her not too. Yet I was naive and young, lesson learned. I wasn't her type simple and easy. As for the other, she moved away. But got on when she could to see me, than I got sick and just couldn't manage anymore. I got to a point where I thought death was close behind me....where I'd be up singing with angels or dancing with demons at some point.. Guess not.